Warning signs that you might need couple therapy
A question our relationship counsellors are often asked is “How will we know if we need couple therapy?”
If you are a in a relationship, then it’s more than likely, that occasionally, you will experience problems. This is completely healthy and anyone who claims to have never argued or disagreed with their partner. Then they are more than likely not being true to themselves or each other.
There is however, a difference between a ‘normal’ arguments and those built on deep seated resentment. Often built up over many years. That’s when the help of an unbiased third party can help get you talking effectively in order to understand each other’s perspectives.
A vast majority of problems in a relationship can be solved through couple therapy. If that is the goal of each person in the relationship. Below are some examples of why your relationship might benefit from couple therapy.
Communication has broken down
Perhaps your arguments have reached such a level that you barely speak or perhaps have stopped talking altogether. Leaving you in a stalemate situation. With the help of a therapist you can learn how to communicate more effectively and get your relationship back on track
When there is negativity in a relationship, one or both parties can feel judged or criticised. It’s not only negative words that cause problems but also the tone of the conversation. Our couple counsellors are always explaining to couples. “It isn’t necessarily about what you are saying but how you are saying it”.
When relationships start to breakdown, couples can feel hurt, anger and resentment, which can lead to one or both parties withholding any form of affection. This is often demonstrated by giving the silent treatment to the other. If one partner acts like a punisher or a parent, there is lack of balance in the relationship.
Seeing your partner as the enemy
If you feel that you and your partner are just not on the same page anymore. You are on different sides and it feels like a battle you both want to win. Then it’s the right time to seek couple therapy.
Considering an affair
Are you fantasising about what it might be like with somebody else? Do you find yourself enjoying the attention of somebody else? Are you sending texts to someone else that you wouldn’t want your partner to see?
This is a signal that something is very wrong. It is possible for a relationship to survive an affair, but it’s wise to seek professional help before that happens. If both of you are open to the therapy process and you are honest with yourself and your partner, the relationship can be saved.
If one partner keeps his/her spouse in the dark about their financial spending, then it brings about suspicion and trust going forward. An experienced therapist can help you calmly discuss this sometimes difficult subject.
Changes in sex life
Sex is a hierarchy of need in any relationship. It’s not unusual for sex to taper off after you have been together for a while. However, significant changes in the bedroom are signs that something is not right. An increase in sex can also be a warning sign.
Couples often wait until the rot has well and truly set in before the seek couple therapy. However, the sooner you nip problems in the bud, the sooner you will get your relationship back on track.
Our professionally qualified relationship counsellors at Relationship Counselling Kent can help you do just that. Request an appointment